Poornima Sasidharan is a trainer who teaches people important life skills, tells stories to help others, and has many years of experience as an English professor. She talks about why it’s important for children to be strong and bounce back from problems, and how parents and teachers can help. Using real-life stories and simple tips, she shows how challenges can be turned into chances to grow.

If we are to define resilience, it is the ability to quickly bounce back when the hardships of life knock us down, which also defines our resilience. It can be taught by teachers and parents, and it is a very important quality for everyone to survive in this world. When children are in school, they not only learn subjects but also life skills to manage the outside world. They absorb the lessons and observe how we speak to them. The way we interact with them makes a huge impact on their mind. In the olden days, any misdeed was dealt with corporal punishment by the elders, irrespective of where we were at that moment. But it is debatable if this brought any change in them. When they are afraid of something, they will never learn. When we adults are reprimanded in our workplace, we start feeling disconnected from the people who do it to us. We start feeling guilty and develop fear. We feel low in our morale and consider the workplace toxic. In the same way, children also feel low when they are reprimanded.
Role of parents and teachers in building resilience in children
Students usually feel that their parents and teachers are very much above them, as they are very experienced, trained, and qualified. They have a higher responsibility towards the students. I remember an anecdote from E. R. Braithwaite’s autobiography where he discusses a student’s behaviour. When the students were attending a lecture by Mark Thackeray, a student barged into the class without asking for any excuse or apology. When I was reading this portion, I felt the teacher would have been annoyed and blasted her. But the scenario was very positive, and it had a great impact on my life too. Mark Thackeray paused for a second, and this pause is very important in our lives. While all the other students were waiting, holding their breath to witness Mr. Thackeray blast the student, Mr. Thackeray had other ways of handling this. He said there were two ways to enter the class. One way was to behave in a ladylike manner, and the second one was to behave like a brat. The other students were eagerly watching what the girl would do. She went out of the class, and while the others thought she would walk off without attending the class, to their surprise, she knocked on the door, got the teacher’s permission, and entered the class. As teachers, we always have the responsibility to think before acting.
Lessons before correction
We can learn four important lessons. We have to connect with the children before we correct them. If we speak harshly to them, they will get afraid and immediately disconnect from the teachers or parents. They will stop learning from then on as they will not understand anything, and they may want to go away from that place. Secondly, we should never label children as stubborn or poor in studies. We have to give space to them, space to understand, and they should never get intimidated. Thirdly, we have to make them understand that they will learn from their mistakes. And fourthly, each situation should be made a part of learning. When they commit mistakes, they have to consider each situation as a learning platform. In this way, their mentality will change. The power of kindness that the teacher shows her students will achieve this. Students in a classroom are from various backgrounds, but they are studying the same syllabus under the same teacher. It is the approach of the teacher that will help them learn from situations.
Another scientist used Petri dishes filled with water. To the first one, he spoke very lovingly, the second one in abusive words, and another one with gratitude. He froze them, and after some time, he found the first one had developed snowflakes. The remaining ones did not develop any shape. He then used rice from the same batch, poured water, and repeated the same treatment on each dish. After some time, he found that the first one smelled good and fermented well, the second one got moldy, and the last dish rotted. This goes to show that when the students need help from us, we have to be kind to them. We, as teachers, have our limitations, and we cannot give individual attention to the students.
Comparison of students not advised
We should never compare the students with others, but we have to give positive directions. They will get clarity. They can express what they are going through, which will make our job easy. This self-reflection is very important for struggling students. They should learn to correct their mistakes and move forward. Making mistakes is not their identity, and they should remove this from their mind. They need support and encouraging words to find the correct direction. They will have the confidence that they can approach us for any of their problems. They will learn to find solutions to any problems and develop positive thinking. Not all children are blessed to have unconditional support, and such children need someone to support them. This can be understood from the life of Thomas Alva Edison, whose mother was there to give him such support when the school authorities informed his mother that he would not fit in the school. She hid the letter from him, encouraged him to focus, and in the end, we are aware that the world has one of the best scientists. They should never ponder quitting, but we have to give them the affirmation that they are capable. They will develop confidence and ward off negative dialogues from their mind. Dr. A P J Kalam has said that for a good teacher, there is no backbencher or frontbencher, all are students only.
Encouraging students to take risks
For example, if a student fails in maths and is scared of it, we have to make him understand that it can be learned. We can teach it in a simplified way so that he understands it better by going down to his level. When the student knows the teacher will not punish him but will give him space to learn, his mentality will change, his mental block will go, and he will learn. We can give sums in various ways until he understands. We can ask him to refer to other books and learn, and appear for competitive exams. Children also learn through stories, from which they can relate to many things. They are told stories from a very young age. The child will retain in their memory if they find stories associated with values, which has been a proven fact. Imagery will help them associate images with the necessary facts that they may need later.
Teachers to prioritize their well-being
We should know that we will be challenged by students, as the children will push the boundaries. We should understand why the child is doing something and approach them in a way they can understand. When the child feels defeated because his marks are low, the teacher has to ensure the topic is taught in a way the student can grasp. The student should not feel that he is poor in his studies. Next comes the students’ inability to sit in one place for a long time listening to the teacher. So filtering is important here.
If schools are to truly build resilience in children, reform must go beyond academics to embrace kindness, patience, and life skills as part of everyday learning. Classrooms should be places where mistakes are seen as opportunities, not punishments, and where teachers are trained to respond with empathy rather than reprimand. Schools must integrate resilience-building activities—storytelling, reflective exercises, peer support, and creative problem-solving—into their routines. By reshaping school culture in this way, we can nurture confident, adaptable young people who see challenges not as setbacks but as stepping stones to growth. Such a reform will also create a more supportive environment for teachers, reducing stress and encouraging creativity in their teaching methods. In the long run, schools that prioritise resilience will produce not only better learners but stronger human beings.
Contact:
Poornima Sasidharan
Soft Skills Trainer
M:8807941509.
E:poornima.sasidharan82@gmail.com